[CERPEN] REPENTANCE

Alhamdulillah, this time Allah had given me the chance to enter yet another competition and all praises to Him, the story managed to get the first place, biiznillah... Hope it can be a reminder to all of us, insyaAllah...

REPENTANCE

The sound of raindrops hitting the windshield, together with the sound of thunders filled the silence between them. Aina couldn’t say another word to his brother to ease his anger, let alone to take hers back; because she knew that she was right. According to AlQuran and AsSunnah, what he did was clearly wrong, and it was her duty to let him know. Yes, even if he would be angry. Even if he might come to hate her. A small sigh escaped her lips as she continued to drive carefully on the road.

An hour earlier…

“Come here quick, Aina! It’s your brother, he…”

“What, Hisyam? What happened?” Cried Aina.

“I don’t know what happened, but as I was walking home from Ustaz Rahman’s house, Adam was in the park beating up some kid. I tried to break them up from the fight, and that’s when I realized that Adam smelled… like alcohol!” Hisyam explained, trying not to miss any important details.

“Astaghfirullah!”

“It’s better if you come here and pick him up, Aina.”

“InsyaAllah, I’ll come as soon as I can. Jazakallah, Hisyam. Assalamualaikum.” Without any hesitation, Aina grabbed the car keys and quickly drove away from the house.

And now, here they are, both in the car physically, but both their minds wandered off to who-knows-where. Aina glanced quickly to her side, where his little brother was pouting and sulking. Well, he’s not so little anymore, he’s about to be a full grown man, a future khalifah leading the ummah! What could possibly be wrong that he chose to act like this?

“Who asked you to come? I would have been fine on my own, thanks. I don’t need you!” Adam said looking at the black sky outside, not wanting to look at his older sister.

“Is there something wrong, Adam?”

Adam snickered. “Ask yourself. You should now best, Miss Oh-I’m-so-perfect.”

What’s up with him? He never used that tone on me before... Aina thought.

“I don’t understand…”

Adam turned towards Aina with a cold stare, colder than ice, but sharper than knife, piercing through Aina’s heart. “Whatever. Stop right here; I’ll go home by myself.”

“Are you crazy? I won’t let you go home by yourself!”

“Stop the car right now, I said!!!” Without any warning, his hands pulled the steering wheel and caused the car to sway aimlessly from right to left and from left to right as Aina struggled to balance the car. The slippery road did little to help them. The screeching sound of the tires deafened their ears, and their eyes were blinded by the front light of an incoming vehicle. By the loud sound of its horn, Aina knew that it was a large truck.

“Ya Allah!!!”

That was the last word that Adam heard from his sister before everything went black with a loud crash. The glass windows shattered and its little pieces flew all over the place. The dashboard broke into halves and hit him hard, causing him to lose his consciousness in an instant. He couldn’t do anything to save himself, let alone to save his sister. Allah. It was the last word, which he would never hear from her again, for the rest of his life. Ever.

**********

“Ah!!!!”

Cold sweat ran slowly from his temples towards his chin, then down his neckline towards his bare chest on which there was a large scar, a souvenir from that fateful night. His breathing was uneven, as he closed his eyes to delete the frightening image from his eyes. Even from his memory, if he could. But he knew it won’t be possible.

The memory would live on, together with his guilt.

It had been 5 years since the accident, but the nightmares never left him. Every night he would wake up like this, drenched in sweat, haunted by his past. Oh, how he wish he could turn back time and redo it all over again. He could never forgive his old self, for letting his stupidity to take over him, and neglected what was most important in each individual’s soul, which is the iman. Iman, which his sister undoubtfuly was trying to plant in him strongly, but then it slipped from him in an instant.

A loud sigh escaped his lips as he pushed aside his blanket and made his way to the bathroom. He tiptoed a bit, as not to wake up his roommates who were deep in their slumber. Splashing sounds were heard from the slightly ajar bathroom door. With the water still dripping from the end of his fingers and toes, he reached for his shirt and a piece of cloth, and raised his hands for takbir.

“Allahuakbar”

                It wasn’t a cold night, neither a hot one. A slow breeze rustled between the dry leaves of Brisbane and into the dimly lit room. The crickets were silent today, as if joining Adam in his prayers. But sometimes a sound or two might come from the naughty ones. Adam finished his Tahajjud, and raised his hands for the second time.

“Allahuakbar”

                5 years ago, he would be so lazy to get up in the middle of the night to cleanse his soul, to be nearer to his God. 5 years ago, his sister would still be with him. 5 years ago, he would still get to perform tahajjud together with his sister if he wanted to. But the Adam 5 years ago was ungrateful. He did not see what a great gift Allah had given him. He did not even wonder, what a great sister, a great muslimah Aina was. All he could think of at that time was only about himself. He was such a useless boy.

“Assalamualaikum warahmatullah… Assalamualaikum warahmatullah…”

                A soft snore came from Imran, his senior by two years who were sleeping on the bed above his. If it wasn’t for him, Adam would still be lost right now. He would be drinking, even partying from dusk till dawn. He wanted to change, but no one was there to guide him. No parents, no relatives, and no Aina. It was in His plan that Adam got the opportunity to further his studies here, and meet with Imran, Hassan and Hisyam, who was a friend of Aina. They were great friends. They were his brothers.

It was here that he knew the real meaning of Islam. Alhamdulillah.

                At first it was hard, no, really hard, nearly impossible to overcome his nafs and to make the change. He almost gave up midway, but Imran supported him, and urged him to continue to seek His mercy. Hassan and Hisyam never get bored teaching him all that he needed to know in Islam, the things that Aina had taught him, but he seem to have forgotten. They strengthen each other, to fulfill their responsibilities in this world, to make provisions for the hereafter.

               

                Adam got up and performed witr before switching on the lights. A soft click and the room was bright. There were slight moans from the sleeping giants as the light irritated their eyes. Adam went to wake them up one by one, and waited for them to get ready for the Subuh prayers. Imran took a few steps forward and led the others.

Adam smiled silently at his new found family, a family that gave him hope, courage and tranquility. May Allah bless them all, and give them the strength to move on in this harsh dunya’. InsyaAllah, until Jannah.

“Allahuakbar…”

Firman Allah: “Katakanlah wahai hamba-hamba-Ku yang melampaui batas, janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya Dialah yang Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang.” (As-Zumar: 53)

“Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bertaubatlah kamu kepada Allah dengan taubat nasuha, mudah-mudahan Tuhan kamu akan menghapuskan kesalahan-kesalahan kamu dan memasukkan kamu ke dalam syurga yang mengalir di bawahnya beberapa sungai.” (At-Tahrim: 8)

Wallahua’lam 

-AH-